Rumblings, Ruminations, and Retrospectives

Musings from the mind of the Beast.


Idiot of the Week

Yes, another driving rant.

CHRIST, people are stupid.

So, I’m coming home yesterday. My lovely bride-to-be (oh my god, only like a week and a half away!) and I had left work and stopped off at the jewellery store to pick up my wedding band. We leave the mall unscathed, and continue on our way home.

We’re coming down our street, and we’re behind this lady, and she slows to a near stop – doesn’t signal – and pulls over to the side of the road, and stops.

She’s parking, right?

Nuh-uh! As I pull out to go around her, she suddenly whips over and tries to pull into her driveway – across the street – and damn near cuts me off faster than a Star Wars geek runs to the store to pick up the latest Darth Vader lightsaber. I hit the horn and she slams on the brakes, narrowly avoiding a collision.

Let’s review this, without the sarcasm, shall we?

I’m following this lady. She slows – doesn’t signal – and pulls over to the side of the road, and stops. She doesn’t signal, and suddenly tries to pull out and turn into her driveway – across two lanes – and act that would have sent the nose of her vehicle right into my passenger door.

Pretty cut and dried, right?

So, we get home, and I go inside and proceed to keep my daily appointment with a good book, when the doorbell rings. I’m, um, preoccupied, so Stephanie answers the door.

Here’s this woman, giving Stephanie shit for speeding and reckless driving! The f*cking nerve!

Let’s get one thing straight. Since she slowed down, and came to a stop, there’s no way I was speeding. I was LUCKY if I was doing 25-30. There’s no way in HELL I was going over 50. So she’s ranting and raving about putting her kid and her dog in danger, and reckless driving, and speeding, and IT WASN’T EVEN STEPHANIE DRIVING! Steph tries to explain things, but the lady leaves, and Steph tells me what happened.

So, I’m pissed. I throw my shoes back on, and head outside after the woman, who is now talking to the NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH leader. For Christ’s sakes.

I walk over there and cut a promo on her. Damn, I’m mad. She tries to tell us she was signalling, which she absolutely wasn’t – BOTH TIMES – and I give her shit about pulling over to the side of the road – she’s parking. She doesn’t need to make a big fade out to pull into her driveway – she’s driving a SEDAN, not a fucking Peterbilt! Then I run down how she’s full of shit – she didn’t look, I wasn’t speeding, she DIDN’T SIGNAL, and the coup de gras, how could she know what was going on if she has the AUDACITY to come to my house to rip into Stephanie for the event, AND SHE WASN’T EVEN DRIVING?!?!?

This bitch shut up fast and hard, and wouldn’t say a word after that. I told her to watch what the hell she was doing, and stormed off.

MAN, idiots piss me off so much.

*deep breath*

There, I’m done ranting now.

How was YOUR day?


Not In The Cards

Subtitled: Nice Guys Sometimes DO Finish First

Well, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. Our Oilers fell to the Hurricanes last night, and there went the Stanley Cup along with it.

Buck up, boys. You were an 8th seeded team that took one of the best teams in the league to seven games. Come on back and do it all again next year.

In my last post, I talked a little about traffic in Winnipeg.

Today, let me talk about the assholes.

So, I’m driving home yesterday, and I need to change lanes due to some heavy construction. I drift up to the car in front of me, and – unlike 97% of the rest of Winnipeggers, I actually put on my signal – and look for an opportunity to change lanes. A few seconds later, a spot opens up, but a car races in to fill it. No problem, I can still get in behind them. Another car races in to prevent me from changing. I’m a little upset, but I still have one more chance to get in.

Nope, the bastard in a big Dodge Ram truck saunters in, and – get this – EYES ME DOWN as he eases into position, effectively cutting me off.


You HAD TO STOP, and you couldn’t leave me a car length, even though you SAW me signalling, and trying to get over? You DELIBERATELY add stress into my drive by being a complete jerk?

With nothing else I can do about it, I give a big sigh – which the guy catches by the way – and he SMIRKS. The asshole took PRIDE in causing me grief.

I gotta take a sidebar here, and tell everyone that Winnipeggers are notorious for doing this. NO ONE lets people in to change lanes. Doesn’t matter if you’re a regular vehicle, a bus, or an ambulance.


We should take the “Friendly Manitoba” off our license plates and give all cars registered in Winnipeg a special plate that says: “Winnipeg. Yup, we’re all pricks.”

So, back to my particular asshole.

If you don’t have a chance to stop, then fine, I can live with that. But this guy deliberately cut me off and ENJOYED it. So here’s where I cross the nice line and join the riff-raff that is the unwashed masses of regular everyday drivers in this bloody city.

I normally don’t do this kind of stuff, but this guy needed to be shown up.

I see several feet in front of him, so I stick the nose of my RAV4 in between him and the car ahead of him. He doesn’t have a CHOICE now but to let me in. And the funny thing is, the guy starts LOSING it. He’s all pissed off that I’d have the AUDACITY to attempt such a maneuver. And, like a true prick, he tries to edge even closer, and almost hits me with his truck. He’s chirping at me, so of course, I chirp back, using some colorful metaphors (bonus points if you know what movie that phrase came from) – even though we’re both behind closed windows.


So, traffic begins to move, and I get to push my way in front the guy, taking the opportunity to flip him the finger as I do so, and of course, he doesn’t like it. His balding head goes red to match the color of his face as he spouts of what I can only imagine was some primitive neanderthal jargon – I saw the cro-magnon forehead of this brilliant individual – and Stephanie and I just laugh our asses off at this jerk.

And now, for the ultimate insult.

We get out of construction, but several blocks ahead, we’re in the right hand lane, and the left hand lane is starting to back up as they wait for people to turn. I slow down and generously let the car beside me go in, then turn to the asshole behind me, and point at my good day for the deed, clearly mouthing to him “That’s how you’re supposed to do it, f*cker.”

Damn, did he ever lose it. That was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Stephanie and I laughed for blocks and blocks.

So come on, Winnipeg. Unclench your asses a little bit. Letting someone in front of you takes only seconds, and doesn’t really affect your drive. Yet, somehow, those two or three seconds is worth showing the world your true colors.

Do the nice thing once in a while.


Turning Over One Of Those Stones

I’m not going to waste a whole other post about the Oilers, but come on – they did everything I pointed out a couple entries ago, and whaddyaknow? A 4–0 shutout, and on the way to Game 7 tonight! Bring that Cup back to Canada, guys!

You know how I said in my introductory post about how I wasn’t going to be afraid of turning over stones and pushing boundaries with my topics? This post is one of those.

After you read this, you may have the right to call me a racist… I think I might prefer the phrase “applying a stereotype”, as I’m not trying to be malicious, as most racist remarks are, but this is simply the truth.

Winnipeg has a fairly large Phillipino population. If I recall correctly, we have the largest Phillipino population per capita in Canada. Do I have anything personal against Phillipinos? No, I don’t think I do.

But I DO have a complaint.

I love driving. With our new house, I commute probably 40 minutes one way to work in rush hour. I don’t think twice if I need to cross the entire city and drive for an hour to get something done, whereas others will be all like “Eh, I don’t want to drive all the way over there.”

Not me. Saddle em up, and let’s go.

So, I guess you might say that I’m exposed to traffic a little more than the average person. I think it’s fair to say that you might call me a SME (subject matter expert) on traffic in Winnipeg. Now, I may push boundaries in blog posts, but I usually don’t on the road. I may drive a couple extra kilometers over the speed limit – nothing excessive, mind you – and I stop properly at lights and stop signs, I use my signals properly (only about 3% of Winnipeggers do, and it PISSES ME OFF). I turn into the proper lanes. I’m a pretty good driver, I like to think.

So, as your resident traffic SME, and one that likes to drive a lot, probably my BIGGEST pet peeve out on the road is people that refuse to drive the speed limit, and hold up traffic for blocks on end.

Like I said, I like to push a few extra kilometers on the speed dial – if the limit’s 50, I’ll do 55… if it’s 60, I’ll do 65… but COME ON… there is absolutely NO reason for anyone on a perfect summer day to be driving 30 kilometers an hour in a 60 zone. It’s a sunny day, the weather is perfect, the roads are perfect… well, as perfect as Winnipeg roads can be (thank you, Mayors Katz and Murray). If you’re in perfect conditions, it’s simple.


If it’s 60, do 60. I can even live with someone doing 55 or 50, but if you’re doing 40, or 30, or even worse 20 (belive me, I’ve seen it!), there’s absolutely NO reason to hold me or other drivers up under perfect road conditions. In the winter? FINE! Use caution – the streets are slipperier (is that a word?) than a banana peel lathered in 40 weight.

Almost every time – probably 8 times out of ten – I realize that I’m coming up on a car REAL FAST – and the person DOESN’T have their break lights on, I drive past them and look into the car, and it’s a Phillipino.

8 times out of 10 that one person is clogging up a lane of traffic in rush hour, and when I finally pass them 10 minutes later – it’s a Phillipino.

8 times out of 10 that a person exits off a side street and pulls in front of me slower than I can run a mile (AND THAT’S SLOW!!) – you got it, it’s a Phillipino.

The other 2 times? It’s an old fart who has no business being on the road in the first place.

And in the rarest of occasions, it’s my buddy Bryon.

(I’m going to get shot for that one.)

So I guess we’re at the racist/stereotypical part.

What’s it about Phillipinos and driving, other than if you asked them, they’d confuse drive FAST with drive PAST? What is it about these people that they have to drive 20 km below the posted limit?

You can get tickets for that! It’s driving dangerously, like when I mentioned I come up on a car that’s moving so slow, but you can’t tell it’s almost stopped, cause there’s no brake lights – it’s present a danger on the road. How do these people get their licenses if they can’t drive properly and move at the standard pace of traffic?

When 80 year olds get caught doing that, their licenses are taken away from them. Why not these people?

I guess it’s not so bad. I could complain about something more serious – it’s not like they’re out killing people, or hanging out in drunk groups cluttering up our downtown areas, but it’s bloody aggravating when it affects me.

Let’s go, people! Buck up and drive!