Not In The Cards
Subtitled: Nice Guys Sometimes DO Finish First
Well, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. Our Oilers fell to the Hurricanes last night, and there went the Stanley Cup along with it.
Buck up, boys. You were an 8th seeded team that took one of the best teams in the league to seven games. Come on back and do it all again next year.
In my last post, I talked a little about traffic in Winnipeg.
Today, let me talk about the assholes.
So, I’m driving home yesterday, and I need to change lanes due to some heavy construction. I drift up to the car in front of me, and – unlike 97% of the rest of Winnipeggers, I actually put on my signal – and look for an opportunity to change lanes. A few seconds later, a spot opens up, but a car races in to fill it. No problem, I can still get in behind them. Another car races in to prevent me from changing. I’m a little upset, but I still have one more chance to get in.
Nope, the bastard in a big Dodge Ram truck saunters in, and – get this – EYES ME DOWN as he eases into position, effectively cutting me off.
WHAT THE HELL?
You HAD TO STOP, and you couldn’t leave me a car length, even though you SAW me signalling, and trying to get over? You DELIBERATELY add stress into my drive by being a complete jerk?
With nothing else I can do about it, I give a big sigh – which the guy catches by the way – and he SMIRKS. The asshole took PRIDE in causing me grief.
I gotta take a sidebar here, and tell everyone that Winnipeggers are notorious for doing this. NO ONE lets people in to change lanes. Doesn’t matter if you’re a regular vehicle, a bus, or an ambulance.
YES, EVEN AN AMBULANCE.
We should take the “Friendly Manitoba” off our license plates and give all cars registered in Winnipeg a special plate that says: “Winnipeg. Yup, we’re all pricks.”
So, back to my particular asshole.
If you don’t have a chance to stop, then fine, I can live with that. But this guy deliberately cut me off and ENJOYED it. So here’s where I cross the nice line and join the riff-raff that is the unwashed masses of regular everyday drivers in this bloody city.
I normally don’t do this kind of stuff, but this guy needed to be shown up.
I see several feet in front of him, so I stick the nose of my RAV4 in between him and the car ahead of him. He doesn’t have a CHOICE now but to let me in. And the funny thing is, the guy starts LOSING it. He’s all pissed off that I’d have the AUDACITY to attempt such a maneuver. And, like a true prick, he tries to edge even closer, and almost hits me with his truck. He’s chirping at me, so of course, I chirp back, using some colorful metaphors (bonus points if you know what movie that phrase came from) – even though we’re both behind closed windows.
So, traffic begins to move, and I get to push my way in front the guy, taking the opportunity to flip him the finger as I do so, and of course, he doesn’t like it. His balding head goes red to match the color of his face as he spouts of what I can only imagine was some primitive neanderthal jargon – I saw the cro-magnon forehead of this brilliant individual – and Stephanie and I just laugh our asses off at this jerk.
And now, for the ultimate insult.
We get out of construction, but several blocks ahead, we’re in the right hand lane, and the left hand lane is starting to back up as they wait for people to turn. I slow down and generously let the car beside me go in, then turn to the asshole behind me, and point at my good day for the deed, clearly mouthing to him “That’s how you’re supposed to do it, f*cker.”
Damn, did he ever lose it. That was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Stephanie and I laughed for blocks and blocks.
So come on, Winnipeg. Unclench your asses a little bit. Letting someone in front of you takes only seconds, and doesn’t really affect your drive. Yet, somehow, those two or three seconds is worth showing the world your true colors.
Do the nice thing once in a while.